Barcelona! And some venting...

Tonight, I head off to Barcelona, arriving in Spain around noon thirty local time.  I am so unbelievably excited.  I've been having the study abroad blues the last few weeks, missing friends at home, American customs, and all sorts of frustrations with classes and professors and internships.  This coming week is going to be amazing, I get to see my aunt and sister and be in a country where I can drink tap water and not be harassed by guys (as much).  I really need a break, I'm not sure from what, but just a break. I've been so aimless the last week, just as aimless as this blog post seems to be, ha...

My flight doesn't leave until 3:15am tomorrow morning, and I don't actually leave for the airport until 11:30 tonight. So I suppose this is a good time to update my blog, now that I have no homework and basically nothing to do because most everyone has left for their spring break already or in an hour.

I don't even really know what to blog about.  Jordan is... Jordan. I've been really really trying to stay positive about being here since I got over the initial shock of leaving Cairo.  I have found some things that make me really happy, like salsa, karaoke every now and then is fun, visiting museums and archaeological stuff.  But more and more I'm getting frustrated at Amman's lack of feel.  Chicago has a feel.  Philadelphia.  Rome.  Palermo.  Athens.  Cairo.  Even St. Louis.  Cities are living, breathing.  If you know me, you know how much I love cities and exploring them.  I get frustrated in St. Louis at times because it's smaller and less exciting than Chicago.  But Amman.... in my anthro class we were talking about Islamic cities, and Amman specifically.  Even our professors told us that Amman doesn't have a feel.  When natives admit that their city is boring, why do I even try?  It was a bit demoralizing.

I don't mean to be offensive to any Jordanians, because the majority love their country, or will at least be offended if I say I don't like it.  It's not that I dislike Jordan or Jordanians or anything like that.  I have made Jordanian friends that I really enjoy being with, and would definitely come back in the future to visit.  I just dislike the situation I'm in because I'm never going to stop comparing my situation in Amman to what would have happened in Cairo.  Of course I can't ever know exactly what would have happened in Cairo, I'm sure I would have gotten frustrated and sick of Cairo too at some point.  But at the same time -- I would have been in Cairo.  Just waking up everyday and knowing that I was a stone's throw away from the Nile, a ten minute drive from the pyramids, and in the city I had wanted to be a part of since I was 12, would've allowed me to keep chugging.

Sigh... but I should get myself off the negativity train.  I fluctuate between trying to stay positive and letting off steam that has been slowly building up in me since the beginning of February.  Hopefully this is the last post you will see by me complaining about Amman, though I make no promises.  I didn't intend for this to be a vent post, but oh well...

Moving on to happier topics though.  ¡BARCELONA!  Maybe now you understand how needed this spring break is, haha.  I need to buy cute clothes, a Barça jersey and tshirt, and lots and lots of good food.  Going back to my apartment in about a half an hour to pack.  If anyone wants gifts from Barcelona, let me know, because I haven't been in the mood to buy Jordanian gifts... haha... but again, insha'allah I will be over my negativity in time to enjoy my last 8 weeks in Jordan this semester.  Wash U-ers, have a good spring break as well! And Happy Birthday shout-outs to all my friends at home who have birthdays around now, Ellen, Gina, and Joel! :)